Don’t Steal From Yourself


Steal from myself? “How could I possibly steal from myself?” you ask. You’d be surprised. I see it happening all the time.
I see people insisting upon taking something for themselves which they could have received as a gift. They demand to have something from someone who would have gladly given it to them freely as a gift. I’m not sure what motivates this stealing of the gift before it can be given. There may be different motivations in different people and in different circumstances.
Sometimes it’s a theft of time, others a theft of goodwill or service, sometimes it is simply your attention they must grab and other times it may be your actual resources or possessions. They don’t trust people to give to them out of generosity perhaps, but some will not even accept an offer of generosity if it will not be given according to their terms or in their timeframe. Again, they rob themselves of a ‘gift’ by insisting upon the gift being given according to their own terms.
As sad and distressing it is to have someone steal something they need from one who would have gladly given it, sadder yet, is when someone steals from someone else so as not to use their own resources. Many of us would happily pick up the tab for a friends meal, however, when they come to expect it and always hand us the bill when they have the full means of paying it themselves, the gift turns sour in our mouth. The same is true even when no finances are involved. When you demand or expect the ‘gift’ it is no longer a gift and both the giver and receiver have lost a piece of joy.
Don’t be so greedy for gifts that you end up never receiving any and don’t rob others of the joy of being able to FREELY give to you.

1 Comment Don’t Steal From Yourself

  1. Fegger

    A ‘thief’ may have many ‘faces’ and/or an equal number of motivations in behaving in such a caustic and self-serving fashion. Quite often, I find, that an individual’s low self-esteem drives them to pursue quickly metabolized satisfactions without any sense or regard from those whom they ‘steal’ from. They tend to be driven to stave off a hunger which they believe is a need; and it may enter into the realm of compulsion.

    This, of course, does not excuse the behavior but, instead, assists me in understanding the ‘why’ of the infraction. While I seldom regret the monetary or tangible loss I, like you, feel cheated by the rescinding or theft of the rewards associated with the giving. My arrogance survives to assume that the thief will, at some time, also feel the passionate loss as well.

    I also tend to self-examine in such situations because there must be a flaw in me–an obvious vulnerability that somehow communicates to some that I exist to be exploited; and that this ‘flaw’ somehow justifies the theft. While I will not modify my propensity toward gifting, I may come to establish terms under which gifts are exchanged—-because of my personal, insatiable desire for the receiver to experience the full intent and appreciation of the gift—-for, I believe, the intent is the value of the gift and not the gift itself.


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